Many vitiligo fighters find themselves saying these things like “why vitiligo chose me,” “this isn’t fair,” or “no one understands what I am going through.” If you, too, are saying such things to yourself a lot, you are developing a whole system of self-pity. Sadly, self-pity isn’t introspection. It’s just a attention-getting device of getting people to look at yourself and say, “oh poor you.”
While many vitiligo fighters merely ignore self-pity, it can have some serious psychological consequences, being downright self-destructive. Feeling sorry for yourself can push you in a state of victim hood, in which you sense that something terrible was done to you and you are entitled to have the world treat you better.
Have you gotten scared? Don’t worry; you have us! Follow five tips mentioned below to stop feeling sorry for yourself and transform into the best version of yourself, outshining vitiligo.
1. Stop apologizing
Apologizing is the breeding ground for self-pity in vitiligo. So, when you constantly apologize, you communicate to both yourself and the outside world that you’re always at fault. This acts to lower your self-esteem in vitiligo and damages your integrity.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should never apologize if you did something legitimately wrong or failed to deliver on time. After all, there is a fine line between a genuine apology and beating yourself up for everything.
2. Don’t complain
It’s not an easy thing to do if you have vitiligo, but consciously make an effort to stop the vicious act of complaining about things that aren’t right at the moment. Don’t talk about the things you can’t control; don’t talk about the things that are negative. Look at the positives. With practice and time, you will get there.
Looking at the larger picture can always help you get past self-pity. Don’t forget why we’re here and how much of a miracle it is to wake up, breathe and have the opportunities to make a difference. It’s a blessing to have the people around us who love us. Everybody’s going through crap, but you have a choice – whether you want to stay negative or do you want to embrace positivity.
3. Accept your feelings
Acknowledge the emotional pain, anger, grief, loneliness, and rejection you have gone through. Once you know that you feel sorry for yourself, you will examine why you put yourself through this. And, most of the time, that’s all is required of you as it allows you to move on.
4. Use your anger
Many people feel that anger is a damaging emotion in vitiligo, which ruins health. However, it is complete nonsense anger, which is only damaging. In fact, anger can damage you when you don’t express it; it’s just damaging when you don’t know how to manage it and how to channel it productively.
Many studies show that anger both encourages people to believe they can control their future and then motivates them to take risks to achieve great things in life. So, when it comes down to either feeling self-pity or anger. Choose anger and then channelize it productively. Read – Use vitiligo to create great art.
5. Look around
Throwing a pity party does nothing to improve your stress response in vitiligo, which can bleach more pigment from your skin. So, if you feel yourself getting into that “this isn’t fair” syndrome again, start looking outside yourself. Do something nice for somebody (your mom or a supportive friend). If your budget allows you, help needy and poor. Inevitably, you will soon be thankful to God that you have this life to help someone in need.