How many times have you been around strangers and for whatever reason you can’t seem to think of what to say? The truth is that all vitiligo fighters have awkward moments, but with some of us, this happens more often than others. Being awkward in social situations in most cases isn’t something that’s dangerous, but it is definitely not a good thing if you want to excel in life.
In other blogs, we have talked about how getting what you want in life is just about your people skills. It’s not always the most gifted people who end up being successful as in many cases the guys who are the most successful are the ones who know what to say, when to say it and how not to be awkward in social situations.
You’re about to learn some simple tips that can quickly help you transform from being awkward to being confident in most social settings.
1. Be present at the moment
When you are dealing with strange stares and unkind remark in vitiligo, it’s natural to get caught up in your thoughts all too often. In fact, my most awkward conversations occur when I’m stressing about my appearance or when I’m thinking about many different things in my head during the conversation. From my own experience, I would suggest you otherwise. The next time when you’re talking with someone, clear your head and be present in the moment. Try to imagine that nothing else exists except you and whoever you’re talking to. Some people call it mindfulness, but I like to call it paying attention.
2. Turn the spotlight off
There is something called the Spotlight Effect. This psychological effect basically causes us to feel like a spotlight is shining on us when we do something wrong or even when we’re just around others. The spotlight effect can also make vitiligo fighters think that they are being noticed way more than they really are.
Whenever you go out, just know that it’s nowhere near. As noticeable to other people as you might think, knowing this truth will take some of the pressure off.
3. Hone your social skills
If you haven’t already noticed the people who have excellent social skills are the people who spend the most time talking to other people. Knowing what to say and how to handle social environments are things that these people don’t even think about because they’re so used to doing it. People who are naturally awkward can achieve the same skills by spending enough time tuning their skills.
4. Warm yourself up
If you’re taking part in a big, upcoming social event, one of the best things you can do is to warm up your social skills. A great way to do this is to ask a few strangers a simple question before going to the event. Although this is an elementary idea, it works wonders for your confidence and getting into the zone. In fact, many guys use this tip (but in a different way) before approaching a date.
5. Eliminate silence in some situations
Silence can be extremely powerful, but if you’re trying to be less awkward relentlessly eliminate silent. According to research, whenever you’re standing close to someone or talking to them, it takes exactly 4 seconds for the situation to begin to feel awkward. And, once this happens your anxiety will increase significantly. You already know that the more anxious you feel, the more awkward you’ll act. You’ll quickly feel like you’re trapped. If you’ve ever wondered why packed elevators are naturally awkward places, now you know why.
So, it doesn’t really matter what to say, just break the silence before 4 seconds if you meet someone in a party or social gathering.
6. Face your fear
Get out there and experience the discomfort. All the knowledge in the world won’t do anything for you if you don’t get out there and put it to use. You can hear and watch videos about social interactions, but until you expose yourself to new social situations every day, you’ll never truly understand to stop being socially awkward.
Force yourself into social situations and experience them. Initially, you’ll probably miss the mark, but over time you’ll be able to calibrate your social skills. Of course, it will feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but as long as you consistently expose yourself to new social interactions (even if it’s just once a day to start out), you will become less awkward.